23 Week scare, starting the 24th Week and Pain!

I have been a bit quiet on the blogging front recently and that's because I have been struggling.. but now I have 10 minutes I'm making myself write it down so I don't forget!

Rocket this week :)

When I was just over 23 weeks I was having cramps accompanied with backache for 3 days on and off but it wasn't regular like contractions, however nothing I did or how I moved stopped them and the fact it was with back pain and having previously gone premature I was terrified. So after the 3rd day I called the labour ward and they told me to come in and get checked.

Baby was moving fine, hes a good strong mover in there and the midwife was shocked how hard he kicked her when she had the monitor on for just being 23 weeks!
 My temperature, urine and everything was fine and the doctor came in and had a chat. It was the scariest chat ever as she had to tell me that if baby did come now they wouldn't do anything to save him.. not til 3 days later when I would hit 24 weeks.. I was then scared as I wanted to know my cervix was closed..

Which it was *massive sigh of relief*, however she said this didn't mean that I wouldn't go into labour at anytime, just that the cramps I had been having hadn't done anything to dialate my cervix - that was a blessing. Off I went home.

When I reached 24 weeks I was so happy, its a big milestone for me. I have alot of anxiety with this pregnancy and now knowing he is considered 'viable' if he was to be born he would have a chance and every week I go from not on is another milestone for my silly anxiety (which I am seeing a midwife councillor about still..)

My HMS has been awful, to the point where waiting the 2 hours for my Glucose Tolerance Test was almost too much and the back pain was so strong I was on the verge of tears. Its really hard as this little baby is wanted sooo much but the pain I'm experiencing is making me feel bad about everything.

I had a bad pregnancy with Rocket, I do remember that but it wasn't til much later (29-30 weeks) that the pain was getting too much and this time 24 weeks seems very early. I have my crutches for when I'm bad but I don't think it's SPD, just the HMS flared up.

Heat bags and paracetamols are all I can do at the moment as my cocodamol makes me feel unwell during pregnancy so I try not to take it until its really really bad.

On a good note my little man is wriggling alot and this morning he was woken by the hoover going, that made me laugh!! and Rocket has been taking about when baby comes and that makes me smile :) I adore my boys and cannot wait to see them together!

Messy Play and the start of summer! (Rocket)

I actually faced a fear of mine, MESSY PLAY! (yes I'm a mess-a-phobe ;) )

 I wanted to take Rocket out for a fun morning at a toddler group so our friend came round so I could follow her over as it wasn't the local group and we headed off for a morning of jelly, gloop, rice, sand, glue and paint!

Rocket was in his element, he was a little wary at first but he loved having all the options of things to do and to my absolute surprise he didn't even get dirty! Not even from the ice cream he had during the break!

It was so fabulous to see him having fun that I'm going to try take him a few more times over the summer.

Unfortunately the sitting on the floor and bending over, topped with picking him up during a tantrum i Asda set me off in a massive flare up today so I haven't been able to do much and I'm exhausted. I really need to learn that I can't do too much, especially at the moment being pregnant with Bumble (seeing as I want to keep cooking him as long as possible!)


When we got back from messy play Rocket has a little nap and woke with a tummy ache but was better by the evening, He even let me take a few photos as I hadn't taken any with my SLR in ages! (Que panic when I thought id forgotten how to use photoshop haha)

Rocket's Visit to Legoland!

For weeks and weeks Rocket has been talking about the upcoming trip to Legoland and he was so excited after going through the videos of the rides on YouTube! His daddy and I were even more excited to take him as we both love theme parks (daddy mostly!) and we were excited to share this with Rocket.

I was a little scared about going as it's really hilly there and having HMS and being 19 weeks pregnant I knew I would struggle, especially having to drive over 2 hours there and back so we planned to get a wheelchair.

When we got there we were a bit late as the M25 was it's normal hellish jam and there was a long queue to guest services but when I got to the desk the guy that dealt with me was friendly and happy and sorted me out a disabled access pass (which we only ended up using twice!) and pointed me in the direction of the wheelchair hire which is at the back of the shop.

Once we were sorted we were off and we named Rocket 'captain' for the day and let him guide us to what he wanted to do! so he was off flying helicopters, driving boats and cars and generally having the best time ever! He even did the massive water slide with daddy and got drenched and still loved it!

I didn't really go on many rides and after getting in the boat decided after that I wouldn't go on anything i had to climb in or sit funny!

The weather was gorgeous, about 26 out there and not a cloud in the sky which made it perfect for the new children's splash area (we stuck to the lower bit as it was super busy!)

We left around 5 pm and headed home and within 5 minutes of being in the car, Rocket was fast asleep bless him! He had such a fun day and there was nothing bad that I could say about the day! 

Here is a link to the days video on YouTube!

We had our own tickets and I'm just writing about our own experience of the day!

20 Weeks Pregnant! Feelings and update

So in a 'normal' pregnancy I'm now half way there! (if you go by Rocket's pregnancy then I'm quite over half way already! That's crazy!)

 For some reason, this pregnancy is whizzing by alot faster than Rocket's pregnancy did. Maybe its because I'm running around after him, maybe it''s because I'm more chilled now.. or just because as you grow up, time disappears!

I'm quite OK with the speed of it though. I feel him move alot each day now.
 He has his quiet times but then will give me a big kick and I will know all is well.

Prior to getting pregnant, I had spent a few months working hard to lose weight and I lost 2 stone and was feeling a lot better in myself and I honestly believe that helped me get pregnant after trying completely unsuccessfully for 20 months.

 Recently I have been struggling with my body image and the way pregnancy is changing my body. Being a bigger girl I was aware that I wouldn't have a 'bump' for quite a while but after my stomach shrinking earlier in the year, watching the baby push out the fat was absolutely terrifying for me and I haven't really talked about it til now.

Luckily in the past week I have started to see a difference myself (I'm not too sure if strangers could tell though!) but even with the dreaded 'B' belly, my upper tummy seems to have 'popped' and I know that it's because Rocket ruined my stomach muscles and that Bumble is still only up to my belly button but have a feeling I'm going to be huge by the end of this pregnancy, especially if I go past the 34 week mark!

I love nothing more than waking up first thing in the morning and looking down to see if the bump has grown! I remember doing the same thing when pregnant with Rocket and it puts a smile on my face.

Rocket is now really into becoming a big brother, he talks about holding him in November and how my tummy is going to grow and how he will help with nappies, it's so sweet.
 When I listen to the baby's heartbeat on the Doppler, Rocket has to listen to the baby in HIS tummy! He tells strangers too ha ha.

My 20 week scan isn't until July 23rd as I wanted a specific day so my husband could come so it's a little later than when I had Rockets. But as I had a 16 week scan that seems to have tided me over, especially as I already know he's a little boy.

I had follow ups after having borderline high BP but that seems to be under control now and the next consultants appointment I have is shortly after my 20 week scan.

As it's only a couple of weeks away I leave it there and I'll update with the scan pictures on the 23rd!

The Journey So Far! - Scan Pictures Included!

It's been such a huge relief to get to 13 weeks! I have suffered from anxiety from the get go in this pregnancy, even after having two early scans ( to determine the location of the embryo after a previous ectopic pregnancy).

We had been trying for this little one for 20 months and I had got to the stage where I was convinced it would ever happen, so you can imagine my surprise when the pregnancy test gained 2 lines!! (especially as it's not a month where we had tried much!)



I ran around like a mad person, shouting, shaking and feeling pretty amazing! But soon after I peeled myself from the ceiling, the realisation kicked in that I'd have to go through the HCG blood tests and wait for my early scan before I should be letting myself feel happy.

All went well with the HCG counts and they doubled nicely, backed up by my (what I thought was a ) 6 week scan, which only showed a sac with a foetal pole, no baby or heart beat.. which I was expecting going by my dates.


It was a long 10 days to wait until the next scan, which was really a reassurance one as I hadn't seen the heartbeat.. and by my dates I should have been 8-9 weeks but a little flashy baby blob sat there measuring 7 weeks and 2 days ( exactly the right growth from the first scan) so from then on, I knocked myself back counting myself as 7 weeks 2 days to be safe!

My 12 week scan approached and I felt awful with anxiety, I had totally convinced myself that my baby had passed away and there would be no growth on the scan, I made myself quite ill with worry and even apologised to my family, just in case that was the case!

When she put the wand on my tummy, those moments of silence were deafening but then there it was, the sentence that changed it all.. "there is baby's heartbeat" INSTANT RELAXATION.

My little baby was jumping around so much she struggled to get the measurement's, s/he was also on their tummy so the sonographer told me to go drink more and come back in 20 minutes for a re scan so she could see more.

So fit to burst I hopped back up on the table and she still couldn't see clear.. (I have a bit too much extra blubber round that section!) so we ended up doing a Trans vaginal ultrasound and apart from it  being incredibly uncomfortable (despite emptying my bladder prior, there was a constant filter down of what I had just drunk!) the picture was amazing! I could see everything, the baby's fingers, brain, nose. It was incredible!

Unfortunately the sonographer still couldn't get the measurements for the Nuchal Translucentsy (sp?!) test but she did say that it looked within reasonable limits and I am still having the blood test for it after 14 weeks.

The bambino (I thought was 12 weeks exactly) measured at 12+5 so I was only one day out of my original dates and baby caught up pretty quickly! my official due date is 29th November 2013!

I'm praying I can get this little one to 36 weeks or past (Rocket was 6 weeks premature) I have a lot to ask my consultant when I see them!

So for now I'll leave it there but I'm incredibly happy and relieved I can finally share the amazing news :)